@thestlouisan: I do this thing where I reply "Maybe" to calendar invites I receive from my wife for date nights she's planned.
I sleep on the couch a lot.
@JimmerThatisAll: I only studied genetics so I would know who to blame.
@markydoodoo: [Yelp review for Mario Bros Plumbing]
Ate my mushrooms, killed ALL my turtles, stole my coin collection. 1 star.
-Bowser K.
@FrenulumBreve: [Safari hunt]
(Ok don't tell them I'm an elephant)
*Adjusts hat and shades*
"Elephant?. Yes that way."
*Points with trunk*
@xLiserx: Trench coats are dangerous. How do you know who’s a detective, a flasher, or two muppets? You just don’t know. YOU JUST DON’T KNOW!!
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