@Kilgore_Studge: I always write "boing" in the memo section of my checks, so all parties involved know how this is gonna go.
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@AmberTozer: Girl: Gonna keep having sex with this guy until he changes for me Guy: Can't believe she keeps having sex w/me I better not change a thing
@onion_an: [last day at job] "You've made my life a misery, I hate you all" [remembers my car is in the garage and I need a lift] "Not you tho Phil"
@fightforfood: Whenever Becky says anything in the breakroom, I just say, "well, that got racist pretty fast" and walk out. I hate you so much, Becky.
@PoliticallyILL1: I'm sick of closing out every job interview with "I was young. I needed the money."