@Kilgore_Studge: I always write "boing" in the memo section of my checks, so all parties involved know how this is gonna go.
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@d_duhwit: Me:"But if, as the sign says, there are 'no right turns' can u really fault me for making a wrong one." Cop:"Thats deep but, yes."
@stockejock: Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.
@AnitaAlibi: My neighbor called my dog fat the other day. Took me two hours to convince my dog that he just had thick fur.
@ashmensch: Good neighbors never bother you. Great neighbors don't call the cops when you pass out naked on their lawn.