@XplodingUnicorn: I am a fountain of wisdom for those who thirst for knowledge.
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@shwebby2: If you want to interrogate someone, do it in German You could say "I love you and brought you flowers" and I'd shit myself!
@rockymomax: [first date] -so how do you feel about octopus? Her: I like em -Whew! [lets other six arms fall out of shirt]
@notbedelia: 911: what's your emergency? M: I'm out of ketchup. 911: miss I don't think u get how 911 works. M: I DONT THINK U GET HOW HOT DOGS WORK