@jus4golf: I am angry but not like really angry. More like Facebook angry where I call you letters of the alphabet. You F'ing B.
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@WilliamAder: When it's "buy one, get one free," I have them put the free one in a separate bag so I don't get them mixed up.
@Tommytoughstuff: [getting an x-ray] TECHNICIAN: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest. ME: Just tell me which ones are coconut.
@glo_stevens: I just ate my yogurt with a fork, because I've learned that if it looks like you have your shit together, people ask you to do stuff.