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@ventivodkacran: "I am as misquoted as Marilyn Monroe."
- Abe Lincoln
@Loli_Sug: Schools should teach kids how to balance a checkbook & basic car maintenance & how to hide a drinking problem. Regular life stuff ya know.
@Swishergirl24: My husband picks fights with me like he doesn't even value half of all his assets.
@Darlainky: If your gym clothes don't have sweat stains, I have just one question for you.....
...what detergent are you using?
@thesulk: "I got chills, they're multiplying, and I'm losin' control." Buddy, you got stomach flu.
@KalvinMacleod: How to determine what party to vote for:
1) Calculate income
2) Divide by number of dependents
3) Subtract age
4) Download Game of War