@Sleinso: I am at my most drunk when I go from chat room to chat room yelling WHO STOLE MY POPTART!!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Kyle_Lippert: Black Friday is the Christian holiday where Jesus rose from the grave at 4am to get in line to purchase a discounted HDTV for his Father.
@NicestHippo: *notices zipper is down* OMG! *zips it up* FRIEND: Thanks but next time just tell me and I'll do it myself
@FatherWithTwins: Me: Wow, 5k followers Wife: Is your top tweet still something I said? Me: Ya Wife: Then aren't they really MY followers? Me: *drinks heavily
@ninjadinosaur1: I figured out how to eat rice cakes. You have to frost them and then dip them into marshmallow fluff. Diet food isn't so bad.