@Sleinso: I am at my most drunk when I go from chat room to chat room yelling WHO STOLE MY POPTART!!
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@kumailn: The director of "A Girl in the River" went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars
@TheTalkingPipe: This beautiful woman is winking at me right now. Now she's using the other eye. Oh never mind. She's falling asleep.