@Laser_Cat: I am "cool" and "chill" and "stuck inside the walk in freezer."
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@iamspacegirl: which part of the centaur carries the centaur babies is it the lady torso or the horse torso and why can't I stop thinking about this
@NicestHippo: [getting fired from NASA] Is it because I kept saying "Technically we're already in space?"
@murrman5: why does mommy cry when she cuts onions? "she feels guilty cuz she stole them. see *lifts son onto lap* your mother likes to steal onions"
@BromanConsul: "Is your refrigerator running?" "Hasn't decided yet," I say, winking at my refrigerator & hanging up. A "FRIDGE 2016" banner hangs above him