@SquidDad: I am dying
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@dshack8: "I really have no idea how to pronounce my name but I won't admit it." Guys named Geoff.
@SteveSuckington: Me: Hello darkness my old friend Darkness: please stop calling me that. My name is Susan
@novicefather: QA Manager: And what is the protocol when an aircraft comes inbound with a suspected Ebola case? "WTF. Planes can catch this shit too?"
@Izianikapani: If the US admits that Trump's presidential campaign is a hoax then Australia will come clean about the platypus.