@SquidDad: I am dying
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@Its_Miss_Riss: Oh, you climbed Mt. Everest? Well, I live with 4 teenagers and ALL the laundry in the house is clean AND folded. .
@WilliamAder: Twitter announced today that they've lost 134 million dollars this year. I don't know if they want us to look for it or what the deal is.
@chiekshere: [waffle house] Waitress: how do u like your eggs Me: hatched and with their families W: no how do u like them cooked M: [spits out coffee]