@crazylikeanox: I am eternally grateful that Twitter doesn't have an "is online now" indicator
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KevinFarzad: I love how women always smell good, and can complete you, and are sometimes wrapped in tinfoil. Wait, that's a burrito. I love burritos.
@BakedElle: I now pronounce you internet boyfriend and girlfriend. You may put your hand down your pants and kiss your phone.