@Donna_McCoy: I am far too familiar with the bathroom floor to ever be judgemental of anyone else's life decisions.
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@KalvinMacleod: [high school] ME: *getting stuffed in my locker* jokes on you buddy, I have snacks in here
@ninatreemonkey: The gardener at my work put beer in the garden to catch slugs SO GUESS WHO JUST BECAME A SLUG
@PhuckinCody: wife: our house is on fire! who you gonna call?! [later] ghostbusters (standing in ashes): u really should've called the fire department
@Karate_Horse: Be careful out there guys. just met a girl, Kylie, and she told me her and her friends are so random...that could mean anything be safe ok