@954LeenO: I am fluent in three languages...english, sarcasm, and profanity
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@Reverend_Scott: RANGER: watch out for wolves ME: oh ya? RANGER: so relentless- [wolf runs up w/ bible] HAVE U HEARD ABOUT OUR LORD & SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST
@DrRocktopoid: My high-school wrestling coach called me "the little raccoon" 'cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and carried Lyme disease.
@SortaBad: [god designing humans] Angel: there was a mix-up at the factory. The intestines are way too long God: *stuffing em all in there* I got this
@topaz_kell: The field sobriety test was going ok until I grabbed two traffic cones and did a Madonna impersonation.