@Bacardidevi: "I am going on a trip." "Mushrooms or acid?"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@colegamble: The strangest thing happened. A coworker who always says, "Living the dream" was mysteriously stabbed 37 times in the neck with my car keys.
@Tylerosis: Facebook is where you'll find people sharing screenshots of sarcastic tweets and commenting "stupid".
@fro_vo: [cemetery] *priest says a final prayer* *harambe's casket is lowered into the ground* *toddler falls in*
@timdonakowski: I sleep with a squirt gun under my pillow just in case a gang of cats break in while I'm sleeping.