@DrawingShadows: I am going to make millions when I finally finish developing this iPhone app that tells you when the traffic light turns green.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@CelebrityChez: I've found that it's almost impossible to explain to a stranger why you are following them around trying to put egg rolls in their pockets.
@daemonic3: Sweetie, who is this bully stealing your pudding cup before school?!? "Mom, it's-" *dad makes throat slice gesture* "No one, Mom. No one"
@AristotlesNZ: 5yo: Can we go get a turtle? They're so cool! Me: Whats so cool about turtles? 5yo: They can breath thru their butts! Me: Grab your coat..