@DrawingShadows: I am going to make millions when I finally finish developing this iPhone app that tells you when the traffic light turns green.
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@thatUPSdude: [1st date] Would it be odd if someone brought their cat on a date? Her: Very, what's in the box? Nothing, waiter cancel that can of tuna
@carlyken: Look Disney all I'm saying is that if my stepdaughter brought a bunch of birds and mice into my mansion I'd make her clean up that shit too.
@TEAMP2007: Sometimes my kid likes me, but I'm pretty sure it's only because I'm his Oreo dealer.
@jonnysun: *dinosaur at zoo roars at me* "ROAR" whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this "GROWL" hmm "SHOUT" hmmm "YELL" hmmmmm "HOLLER" oh its a thesaurus