@shaztaberry: I am going to the Antique Roadshow. Gonna slap my tampon on the table and ask them what period it's from.
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@ThatRascalPuff: No need to write it down, I've a photographic memory *looks hard af* *pukes polaroid*
@msdanifernandez: Game Show Host: if you were stranded on an island with no people, what-- Me: omg yes
@alispagnola: Facebook definitely needs to change their name. Pretty sure books aren't supposed to make you dumber.
@iwearaonesie: So important your wife knows you're petting the dog when she hears you say "you're getting a little chunky"