@shaztaberry: I am going to the Antique Roadshow. Gonna slap my tampon on the table and ask them what period it's from.
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@Kali_Mura: Cop: So, I’m writing a ticket for driving alone in the car pool lane. Me: You’re going to feel really stupid when you look in my trunk.
@djdarrellripley: Me: Don't tell me you've never thought about having sex with me. Her: No, I never have.... Me: I asked you not to tell me that.
@StarWarsProblms: Vader: Remove my helmet so I can see you with my own eyes. Luke: OK. Vader: On second thought, don't. I have 30 years worth of hat hair.