@shaztaberry: I am going to the Antique Roadshow. Gonna slap my tampon on the table and ask them what period it's from.
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@sam_kriss: in marvel's DEFENDERS, our heroes must combine their powers - being good at punching, punching people well, having strong punches, good punc
@MelKassel: HIM: tell me your wildest fantasy ME: i'm on wheel of fortune and i spin it so hard it lights on fire HIM: i meant like- ME: everyone claps
@Reverend_Scott: MARY JANE: daddy, what's my name from? ME: it's from the comic Spider-Man 420BLAZEIT: and mine? ME: umm [sweating] also Spider-Man
@dumbbeezie: Shopping with friend "Look, triangle-shaped tupperware for your leftover pizza!" Me: "What's leftover pizza?