@ThisLocalHater: I am in my truest form when the food comes at a restaurant and I side-eye plates, suspicious that everyone got more fries than I did.
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@simoncholland: One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don't want to do.
@FlyJ_: You know that one relative that is annoying AF and no one in the family can tolerate? Yeah, she's staying at my house this week.
@SteveSuckington: What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get? Mine is a skittle.