@vincevangone: I am "knows everything about Aardvarks because Mom bought an encyclopedia," years old.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Can I borrow a dollar? Me: You don't have a job. How will you pay me back? 5: Me: 5: I'll borrow another dollar.
@MoneypennyNaked: So I said 'I love you' but he didn't say it back. We haven't spoken since. Maybe he just needs space. Vet: Your cat's fine. You can go now.
@daplusk: I nod and smile at empty places just to confuse any ghosts that might be there into thinking i can see them.