@_NTFG_: A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

@Rlpihl: in college, i was the third-wheel so many times they called me The Tricycle

@skickwriter: Next time you want to hurt a horse's feelings, tell him he's hung like a human.

@tastefactory: People Magazine sounds like something aliens pretending to be humans would call their magazine.

@LordVino: LMAOOOOO WHO TWEETED THIS?