@Kirangandhi: I am learning from my mistake now. My son taught me maths today
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@TheTweetOfGod: Heaven is like arriving at Disneyland. Hell is like still being at Disneyland three weeks later.
@AimeeHelene1: Tonight's special: Hummus-fed pigeon leg, rolled in coffee grinds, served on a bed of fresh lawn clippings $105 - Fancy restaurants
@BlindChow: Mom: Time to wake updog. Son: *groggily* What's updog? Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u? Dad (from hallway): OWNED