@Kirangandhi: I am learning from my mistake now. My son taught me maths today
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@NurseMurderer: My favorite part of eating alone at this trendy restaurant was when the waitress asked if I had cats because I had cat hair, "all over."
@jwalkonthemoon: It's stupid that "girl" and "world" are rhymed together so much in songs when "squirrel" is right there for the taking.
@Douchekevin: Don't mix your medication with alcohol she said and we laughed and laughed and laughed & then took turns operating operating heavy machinery
@dmc1138: Steve Miller: "Some call me the gangster of love." Rest of the Steve Miller Band: "Nobody calls him that."