@NicestHippo: "I am leg end" - a foot
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@shawnspree: I would fake a heart attack but this coworker would just try to finish his story in the ambulance ride to the hospital.
@Sarcasticsapien: I only discriminate against people who discriminate. I'm basically the Dexter of discrimination.
@peterjames48: "I don't have to outrun the bear! Just you!" Wrong. Bears are so sick of that joke, they skip the slow guy and eat the fast guy now.