@MyHairyLife: I am man. Hear me ask my wife for permission to roar.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@knot_eye: Dear Ad Agencies, Please stop using doorbells in your TV commercials. On behalf of dog owners everywhere, Thanks!
@MartaEffing: I laid my tired head down on my pillow & saw the most terrifying thing I could possibly imagine: My phone. On my dresser. Across the room.
@licensedtoverb: Maybe I'll starting bringing a spray bottle and treat them like misbehaving cats. "NO!" *Shoots person in face*
@EliTerry: Sometimes if I trip on a crack I act like it's no biggie by breaking into a jog and don't stop until I'm in a new city with a new life.