@girl_a_whirl: I am never too old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night.
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@WilliamRodgers: The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it... I'm gonna miss that baby...
@jonnysun: *the force awakens* *the dark knight rises* *they make eye with eachother adn realize they were sleepig in the same bed* AHHHHHHHHHHHH
@Hobo_Splendido: The Church used to teach that all babies that die go to Limbo, but it was easy for them because they're so short.
@thepunningman: "As CEO of Tortoise Enterprises, this merger with Slug Corp is... Linda, where is everyone?" "They all called to say they're running late"