@girl_a_whirl: I am never too old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night.
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@Xoolun: My wife nominated me to do the ice bucket challenge. I'm a little confused. Has anyone else been asked to hold a toaster at the same time?
@ninjadinosaur1: I figured out how to eat rice cakes. You have to frost them and then dip them into marshmallow fluff. Diet food isn't so bad.
@MikeBigby: [Airport security supervillain screening] AGENT: Spell 'haha' ME: OK, 'M',-- AGENT: ur under arrest