@Robert_Beau: I am only drinking 2 beers tonight, but in dog beers.
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@BlindChow: *man choking* Is there a doc in the house? *Dr Pepper rises* *searches man's pockets* Hey ur no doctor! *moustache falls off* *it's Mr Pibb*
@MelvinofYork: My wife just threatened to kill me in my sleep, which seems much less horrifying than being killed wide awake. She’s always been thoughtful.
@nachosarah: hey guys maybe girls are so cold all the time because you make us shave off all our hair