@shatterpants: I am realistically only 1 crossbow away from accidentally killing someone with a crossbow.
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [God making water] "it helps plants" ANGEL: nice "cleans things" A: ok "u die if u don't drink it" A: "& drown if u drink it wrong" A: what
@Rollinintheseat: *Speed dating* Me: "Do you say bless you when your dog sneezes?" Him: "No." Me: "Next."
@hazelmotes1: When my kids come to me with problems I just tell them to watch Full House until they find an episode dealing with their issue.