@MarcusTheToken: I am really shocked that there is not a website devoted solely to the most clever Wi-Fi names of all-time.
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@robfee: Worst things the parents do in Home Alone: 3. Never punish Buzz 2. Forget one of their kids 1. Try to make everyone drink milk with pizza
@stephenjmolloy: Mafia boss: "I want him swimming with the fishes!" *later at the coral reef* Me: "This is amazing!" Mafia boss: "Anything for you."
@Matt_The_1st: Cop: you know why I pulled you over? Me: You thought I was black? Cop: Haha. Yep. You're free to go sir
@KeetPotato: me: "what is a librarian's favourite food?" dog: me: "SHUSHI lmao" dog: [starts putting his toys in suitcase]