@mydmac: I am religious. I religiously avoid church.
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@Mr_Kapowski: I want to know the backstory of when an eyelash turns evil and says "That's it. I'm done protecting the eye. I'm going in to destroy it now"
@meladoodle: The new options on Facebook look like the life cycle of every relationship I've ever had
@juliussharpe: I have the Anne Hathaway "It came true!" reaction whenever the guy at Subway hands me my sandwich.