@mydmac: I am religious. I religiously avoid church.
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@tweetarded1: My soon to be ex-wife just told me I need to face my demons. nnWTF. I was looking right at her.
@RayfromCincy: The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer.
@Sassafrantz: Me: [opens front facing camera at a funeral and starts crying] "he must've meant a lot to her."