@Eden_Eats: I am rubber, you are glue, that guy is ketchup, this is a terrible Halloween party.
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@ElgatoEsmio: [trapped on a patch of ice that's melting in the Arctic ocean] [rubs Genie bottle] “can you hook me up with some wifi?"
@Dutch_50: Anyone else notice Independence Day is July 4th? Maybe we can work it into our 4th of July celebrations.
@215potter: Thank god my brother's getting his PhD, I was running out of ways to disappoint my parents.
@robfee: No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e.