@chrissyteigen: I am so lazy I thought about looking at the super moon and decided 2033 isn't even that far away
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@AdviceFromDino: Asked for Cheez-its Wife buys Cheese Nips Now she's sitting in the corner thinking about what she did.
@LuckoftheDraw86: "You can't stand there." "Not there, either." "Nope that spot's taken, too." -Ground hogs
@birbigs: Instead of presents, give your kids "presence." Then explain how homonyms can be hilarious. Then leave forever.
@bobvulfov: Haha no i do not care what people think of me. Why what have u heard tell me everything right now