@lucascomedian: I am so sorry to hear about your grandma... I know what you're going through my phone dies all the time.
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@Rollinintheseat: [blind date] Him: "I'm a big Beethoven fan." ME *trying to impress him* "Saint Bernards are my favorite dog breed."
@DeadLioness: Getting murdered would be scary, but not as scary as if the forensic guy with the white chalk would trace my body fatter than I really was