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@KentWGraham: I am the boss of me. And my wife is my boss’s boss.
@BiIIMurray: Every Olympic event should include one average person competing for reference.
@AliceGolightly_: If you slept with my husband I'd be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
@ermahgarton: MURDERER: could a murderer do THIS? *defendant proceeds to not kill anyone*
JUDGE: he's got a point
@SCbchbum: I wouldn’t mind being catcalled if it were useful: “Hey baby, boot sale at Macy’s!” or, “Line’s shorter at Starbucks on 5th, sweet cheeks!”
@WeissBrandon: When I ask my wife if she wants help, she changes the subject and asks if a bear shits in the woods, like I'm some sort of bear scientist.