@ianduhig: "I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"
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@Douchekevin: Men don't ask for driving directions because we just don't want to arrive wherever you're making us go.
@empressofsong: I am open to suggestions, comments, or glowing praise followed by many exclamation points.
@seancoleran: Girlfriend: Why is this broom broken? Did you draw a lightning bolt on the cat? Are you writing with a feather? Me: Muggles....