@nice_mustard: "i am trapped in a loveless marriage help me obi-wan you're my only hope" "use divorce, luke"
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@turtledumplin: Before he leaves for work, my husband whispers the 3 words I love to hear him say... "I made coffee"
@Julian_Deane: We’ve run out of coffee so my girlfriend pressured me into knocking next door. So I knocked and awkwardly asked them to go to the shops.
@krishna_van: "Give me a positive adjective..." "Splendid." "Nice. Now how about a negative adjective?" "Splendidn't."