@MariyaAlexander: I am waiting for the day we have a national scandal involving a gate
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@NurseSeymour: There are only two things in this world visible from space. One is the Great Wall of China and the other is my pile of laundry.
@iamspacegirl: Me: oh hi! Did you come over because I'm sad? How do you always know when I need you? Cat: get me my damn jingle mouse. Me: I love you too
@ArfMeasures: "We can't put it off any longer Alan, our daughter needs new shoes" CENTIPEDE DAD: [staring out the window] This is gonna bankrupt us Susan
@DurtMcHurtt: Make new friends by waking up strangers with forehead kisses after they've fallen asleep on the train.