@MariyaAlexander: I am waiting for the day we have a national scandal involving a gate
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@BackrowSeats: Been in an accident? Know someone who's been in an accident? If not, call us & we'll come push you down the stairs or something.
@michaelianblack: "The ankle so important to a basketball player." Something the announcer just said.
@Violent2Dope304: Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.
@bridger_w: When someone has a baby, I'm just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with