@FavoriteNapster: I am wearing a jacket, because my mom felt cold.
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@Bearslietoo: A fun thing to do is to tell a complete stranger that you met your boyfriend on Twitter and then show them a cat.
@Not_James_Vogel: I'm a human alarm clock so when I wake up this early for no reason, I punch myself in the face to turn myself off.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [police sketch artist interrupts me again] ok now you're definitely describing sonic the hedgehog
@michaeldean0116: If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader then she would be known as Ella Vader.......