@_SingleBabyMama: I answer with an automatic "Yes" each time my mom says "Oh, have I told you...?" I could miss out on something good but chances are slim.
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@ShesAllNat: Mattel is launching a new Twitter Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box
@MariyaAlexander: [trying to make friends as an adult] May I interest you in tolerating me for a moment
@amishschool: Me teaching Wilderness Survival Class: "OK EVERYBODY WATCH CAREFULLY AS I DRIVE *AWAY* FROM THE WILDERNESS."
@Reverend_Scott: Princess Peach: Something's different. You seem taller. Luigi wearing Mario's red overalls: No, nothing is different. It'sa me, Mario.