@_SingleBabyMama: I answer with an automatic "Yes" each time my mom says "Oh, have I told you...?" I could miss out on something good but chances are slim.
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@KevinFarzad: Fellas, here's a flirting tip: If a girl plays with her hair while taking to you, it means she has lice and you should stay away from her.
@SteveSuckington: [1st time on phone with a girl] I've got butterflies in my stomach It's so cute that you're nervous [eating 2nd bowl of butterflies] huh?
@Lemonidas42: Man: "I think I saw a UFO last night" UFO with fake moustache: "Nah, it was probably one of them optical gases or something"