@goldengateblond: I applied for a government job today and accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favor.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Kyle_Lippert: You're a dog person? *Throws a stick* Well? Aren't you going to run after it or are you cool with being a normal human that's also a liar?
@Adar79Angie: When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet? I say "Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."
@LeonEarlgrey: Cop1:did u hear about the kidnapping? Cop2: should we go help? Cop1: No it's ok he woke up. This fall on CBS "Good Cop, Dad Cop"