@Rollinintheseat: Kid: "I want to be a doctor when I grow up." Mom: "You can't. Your hands aren't cold enough."

@Mehrwane: Facebook: You have more friends on Facebook than you think. Me: You have higher expectations than you think.

@sofarrsogud: I’ve banned my kid from his X Box today so he’s gone to a barn on the outskirts of town to dance out his frustrations.

@DamienFahey: Congratulations, Americans who write "Cheers" at the end of e-mails. You've found something even more pretentious than "Sent from my iPhone"

@TragicAllyHere: Please stop saying, "not all heroes wear capes." It is hurting business and times are very hard here at the cape factory lately.