@markhoppus: i appreciate the song "the boys are back in town" because it answers the age-old question: are the boys back in town y/n?
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@NewDadNotes: Man sees the first Cat Caveman: omg that sabertoothed tiger just mauled me. I'm gonna call him Mr. Bumblebottom and make him sleep with me
@AmberTozer: Good thing "you only live once" has really caught on otherwise we might all kill ourselves like it's no big deal
@CatherineLMK: A study was just published that shark attacks happen most often in water. Now I have to worry about the ones that occur elsewhere.
@HomeProbably: The last time I was this drunk and covered in glitter, it had nothing to do with Christmas.