@wolfpupy: i argued with the parrot at the pet store until it got sold away and the guy who bought it wouldnt let me in his car. that means i won
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@dongfuture: Telepathy “Huh?” Telepathy “Ok…let’s move on. What—” Telepathy “Please stop interrupting! What are your strengths?” *rolls eyes* Telepathy
@MeepisMurder: in 2nd grade we had to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up and i just drew myself with sunglasses on
@mewritesgood: I bought my nephew a drum set because: A) I'm an awesome uncle B) Learning to play an instrument is important C) I hate my sister
@samalmightysam: Overweight people know they're overweight, tall people know they're tall, why is it that stupid people don't know what they are?