@MelvinofYork: I asked a friend if he’d eat a piece of dog crap for $1K and he asked “From whose dog?” I'm having a hard time accepting that as a factor.
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@Brampersandon_: RANGER: Remember, don't feed the bears ME (being attacked by a grizzly): OH GOD HE'S RIPPING ME APART! RANGER: What did I just say!?
@MauriceBlitz: I'm convinced when squirrels run the road, nearly missing your car, it must be some kind of squirrel gang initiation.
@BonaFideIntent: HR: Me: HR: Me: HR: "..16. 16 STAPLES in Diane's forehead..." Me: HR: Me: "..it was the last twizzler" HR: Me: HR: Me: *eats twizzler*
@ThatEggChick: I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.