@MelvinofYork: I asked a friend if he’d eat a piece of dog crap for $1K and he asked “From whose dog?” I'm having a hard time accepting that as a factor.
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@1Happytwit: Kids don't scare me cause their little arms aren't strong enough to swing a chainsaw.
@cloudybones: Being asked if you've read 50 Shades of Grey is like being asked if you've had steak at Applebees. You do know there's actual steakhouses?
@ElleAys: My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I'm fearful of her college days.