@Th3BadGuy__: I asked a girl to kiss me under a mistletoe and she said she wouldn't kiss me under anesthesia.
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@AntF3ltz: When I go to Starbucks, I tell them my name is Marco. When my drink is ready and they call my name, I just keep saying Polo.
@Shock_Monster: Christian Mingle: Find God's match for you. Because the Lord works in mysterious ways. Like setting up a website for his people to hook up.
@pauleggleston: I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was, like, 0mg!
@FormerGrunt: My ex was an absolute treasure. By treasure, I mean you will need a map and a shovel to find her.