@melibuff: I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.
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@shutupmikeginn: Girl on my bus has a therapy dog with a marked vest and I was like, "what kind of therapy is he in?" because of course I said that
@AimeeHelene1: (Gamblers Anonymous meeting) Leader: Bob, tell us why you're here. Me: $20 it's a Blackjack addiction. Group: *all rushing to place bets*
@AGreaterMonster: I'm going to swallow a jack-in-the-box so that when they do an autopsy—BOING, surprise!