@mkpaulsen: I asked my friend if he wanted a drink and he said to surprise him so I brought back a side salad.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: [Brings a snowball to a work meeting and tosses it at boss] I'm not trying to disprove the theory of global warming I just don't like you.
@sageboggs: "Is that the guy who doesn't know how to use the word poignant?" Yea shhh he's coming over here THE GUY: hey guys! long time no poignant