@mkpaulsen: I asked my friend if he wanted a drink and he said to surprise him so I brought back a side salad.
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@CornerPubRon: When my new neighbor dies, I'm going to hire the same tree removal service he has outside my window right now to work during his burial.
@SpacePlankton: *watches movie* *sees a scene with full frontal male nudity* *pauses for three months*
@OtherDanOBrien: "Dark Side Tech Support." "Hi. My hand lightning won't work. The hate's flowing thru me, but nada." "Try turning the hate off & on again."
@ImaFlyontheWall: *follows around a family of ducks in the park while playing Sandstorm on a boombox*