@alispagnola: I asked my friend what keeps her up at night. She answered, "helium." Also, my friend is a balloon.
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@StarWarsProblms: Kylo Ren: *high pitched voice* I love you Kylo Ren. You're the best dark Jedi ever General Hux: *walks in* Stop playing with Vader's helmet
@Reverend_Scott: JESUS: Happy Father's Day, Joe. [hands over present] JOSEPH: Wow, thanks Jesus. I wonder what it- [present is empty] [Jesus and God hi-5]
@Marcmywords2: Hey Dad, The airport called, if you don't turn down your TV, they're filing a complaint.