@alispagnola: I asked my friend what keeps her up at night. She answered, "helium." Also, my friend is a balloon.
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@SodomyClown: Fifty Shades of Grey instills that if a dude is sexy and rich you should allow him contractual ownership of your body because helicopters.
@markleggett: "When you wish upon a star, it takes trillions of years for the wish to get there, and by that stage you're dead." - Neil deGrasse Tyson.
@dadofbieber: Daughter 1: Dad, I'm lesbian. Daughter 2: Me too dad. Dad: Doesn't anyone like guys here? Son: I do?.