@simoncholland: I asked what I could bring for Thanksgiving this year and my mom said it was up to me so I'm bringing a wireless router.
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@InternetHippo: Me: Going to stop being mad. Maybe take up meditation Person in front of me at Chipotle: I'm ordering for 5 people Me: I will kill you
@daemonic3: As an ultimate act of selflessness, someday I will travel to a 3rd world country and adopt a small, less fortunate highway.
@tuckerflodman: *Snowman wakes up in hospital* "What happened to me?!" Snow Doctor: Don't worry you're fine. But... what did you think a snow blower did?