@slaughthie: I asked when my gym membership was up and the dude said "day before Valentine's Day" like I'm some genius who knows when Valentine's Day is.
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@E_lok44: Based on the amount of animal hair, clinging to your t-shirt, I'm going to pass on your homemade cookies, thank you.
@AustinSommer: If you spin an oriental person around until they get dizzy, do they become disoriented? #LifeQuestions
@mdowd: If the FBI want to get into an iPhone w/o users permission, they should ask someone who's done it before, like U2