@LizHackett: I assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
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@onion_an: Me: I had to take your hamster back to the shop Son: Why [nervous because I accidentally ran him over with a lawnmower] Me: He's a racist
@fizzlestothetop: Well, seeing as Jesus only had 12 followers, I'd say I'm doing pretty well for myself.
@MommaWordsIt: My milk of magnesia brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, you sounded younger on the phone.