@Brianhopecomedy: I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service it's because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager.
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@thatcarlygirl: "Please don't do this," I beg, as the hairdresser tries to start up another conversation.
@AimeeHelene1: "It's the holidays" *eats a pizza* "It's the holidays" *eats 3 cheeseburgers* "It's the holidays" *eats my food, your food & a small baby*
@DarthSteveus: Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween...I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
@zachreinert03: Audrey Hepburn probably has my favorite last name that combines an STD and a symptom of an STD