@Brianhopecomedy: I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service it's because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager.
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@LittleMissZesty: I've just used glitter spray paint in a confined space, and now I'm on another planet busting disco moves with an intoxicated pixie.
@Tmoney68: Mistletoe is my favorite Christmas tradition that sounds like a cool as shit superpower.
@Sickayduh: ME: What's your favorite movie? DATE: Girl Interupt- ME: *drops fork* What is it? DATE: Girl Interu- ME: *burps* Sorry. Go on. DATE: Fargo