@LaniBeno: I ate the whole box of slim fast bars. So excited about how skinny I'll be when I wake up tomorrow.
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@ElgatoEsmio: [holding an acorn] “do you still love me?” Wife yells outside- "that’s not even the same squirrel as yesterday!” "Shaddup you!"
@krautsider: Top 4 horrified face expressions: 4. dragged away by crocodile 3. stabbed by serial killer 2. mauled by bear 1. no toilet paper
@crazytraci72: "Who am I?" she beckoned the stars. Stars: We've gone over this a million times. You are a geisha caveman.