@Ghetto_Trophy: I automatically write off anything Donald Trump says because someone with that much money has no excuse for that hair.
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@northcoastkevin: [gets pulled over by the cops] Cop: sir, you need to have 2 or more people in your vehicle to drive the HOV lane. Me: check the trunk.
@just1fool: The trick to a good AVI is finding your best characteristic and flaunting it. I obviously am a fan of my nostrils.
@timdonakowski: *stops next to punks at red light* *stares them down, turns up The Walking Dead opening music* *light turns green, slowly accelerates*
@MomofTeen: It's been six years since my job interview. I'm beginning to suspect they chose someone else.