@Ideal_Victoria: I avoid cheating on my spouse by not getting married.
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@jnrbtsn: He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it's all screaming and shit.
@dubstep4dads: "Interested in mail enhancement?" Me: u mean 'male' enhancement "No. [whispering] what if I told u I could get ur mail like so fast bro"
@Abfablee: Our gold fish jumped out of his tank and the dog ate it.....I feel like there is a life lesson here but don't know what it is.