@qikipedia: I before E except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbour.
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@DanMentos: *chad kroeger walks through metal detector at airport* TSA agent: I've never seen this low of a reading
@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: Happy Thanksgiving Eve! Gobble til you wobble! Me: *mutters* How bout you slobble on my knobble CW: What was that? Me: You too
@ItsAndyRyan: Child twister: "I can't tear up that farmhouse, Dad" Dad twister: "Come on son – we're Kansas tornadoes, not Kan'tsas tornadoesn'ts"