@qikipedia: I before E except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbour.
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@PieChord: The only time my ex will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground.
@PastorBate: I've been washing my hair with Ranch dressing for 13 years because the bottle doesn't say not to do that.
@NeinQuarterly: The #NSA walks into a bar. Bartender: "Got a new joke for you." NSA: "Heard it."