@NourhanKheir: I believe in ten years, gifts for newly born baby would be a SIM card and a cell phone.
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@cepheusjackson: WIFE: How's the ventriloquism going? ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it.
@joejwest: LIAM NEESON: [writing grocery list] bread milk cheese eggs vengeance [he stops writing, frowns] v̶e̶n̶g̶e̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ grapes
@Beesthegame: [Pulled over] Sir do you know how fast you were going? MY DOG IS IN LABOR! Oh! In that case *scribbles* Here is a ticket for littering.