@NourhanKheir: I believe in ten years, gifts for newly born baby would be a SIM card and a cell phone.
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@DaddyJew: Me on the toilet: HEY I NEED SOME TOILET PAPER 6: *running around dressed like a mummy* we're all out
@QwertyJones3: "Welcome to another meeting of Horse Club. Let's try to actually get something done today. All in favor?" Crowd: "NEIGH!" "Jesus Christ."
@jameshamblin: I suppose in many ways we are all on our fifth attempt to open a dinosaur amusement park.
@GreenishDuck: Text your dad "egg salad sandwich" four times in one day. He'll probably think his phone is broken.